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December 18, 2009

Countdowns of 2009: Music

This Wednesday’s #YALitChat on Twitter had the theme “Bests of 2009 in YA: Books, Music, Movies, TV, Anything!”

I’ve been thinking ever since.

So, to finish out 2009, here are my own lists of The Bests of 2009, one a day until it’s time to party like it’s ten years ago.

Best New Music of 2009

  1. “Jump,” Glee Cast (cover of Van Halen)

    \”Jump\” (Glee Cast) HQ on YouTube

    I don’t know if any song in 2009 makes me happier than this one.  I’ve said that about many a Glee song, because the show — and its music — just keep impressing me more, but this has been the pinnacle in my opinion.  I have to dance in my seat when I hear it.

  2. “Fireflies,” Owl City

    \”Fireflies\” (Owl City) on YouTube

    Who isn’t including this song on their 2009 countdowns?  Pure whimsy in musical form.

  3. “Shades of Gray” by Open Till Midnight

    Listen on MySpace

    I am a huge fan of Open Till Midnight.  This song is supremely easy to listen to on repeat and is beautiful, poetic lyrics and a catchy hook that are indicative of the band’s style on the whole.

  4. Brick by Boring Brick” by Paramore

    \”Brick by Boring Brick\” (Paramore) on YouTube

    I love Paramore’s lyrics, Hayley Williams’ voice (and name!), and the soundscape of their songs, as well as most of the other acts on the Fueled by Ramen label.  I’m that person.

  5. “F*cking Lights,” Sam Bradley & the Men

    \”F*cking Lights\” (Sam Bradley & the Men) on YouTube

    Clearly not the style of music I listen to most often, but I love Sam Bradley’s voice and the guitar part to this song.  I wish I could find a cleaner recording than this.

  6. “World War III,” Jonas Brothers

    \”World War III\” (Jonas Brothers) on YouTube

    I like the Jonas Brothers even though I am in my twenties.  Their music is fun, and so are their concerts, and I will publicly admit that when I saw them this summer, I yelled “MARRY ME, NICK JONAS!” four times.  And texted their big screen-thing.

  7. “America’s Suitehearts,” Fall Out Boy

    \”America\’s Suitehearts\” (Fall Out Boy) on YouTube

    The album came out in 2008, but the single was released in 2009, therefore giving me an excuse to slip Folie a Deux into my countdown list.  This album is pure genius, as are most things Fall Out Boy, and I love the topsy-turvy poetry of Pete Wentz’ lyrics.  This song is no exception, although the video creeps me out a little bit.  It’s also very similar to the “Brick by Boring Brick” video.

  8. “Let Me (Get It) [Acoustic Viafore Mix],” statespeed

    There aren’t any online sources to listen to this mix of the song, which is vastly superior to its electrified version, and that’s a shame.  It’s a lovely, simple song by a lovely band.

  9. “Party in Your Bedroom (Acoustic),” Ca$h Ca$h

    \”Party in Your Bedroom (Acoustic)\” (Ca$h Ca$h) on YouTube

    Please kindly ignore that this is a fanvideo, all of the live acoustic videos were muffled.  In terms of feeling, this song reminds me of “Fireflies,” if a bit more cynical.  I once accidentally hung out with Ca$h Ca$h at Pete Wentz’ bar all night and ended up on The Real World: Brooklyn.  Then I got lost on the subway and ended up in the wrong burrough at 4AM, in a thunderstorm, crying because I was wearing leggings as pants.  It was an interesting night.  This song is lovely regardless.

  10. “Remember December,” Demi Lovato

    \”Remember December\” (Demi Lovato) on YouTube

    Demi Lovato is one of the most impressive musical artists I’ve seen perform live.  She is a madwoman onstage, playing three instruments while singing and having great charisma.  She’s also cute as a button!

  11. BONUS: The Beatles 40th Anniversary Digital Rereleases

    \”Hey Jude\” (The Beatles) on YouTube

    There will never be another band quite like The Beatles.

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November 29, 2009

The Wisdom of Small Children

Earlier this week, at my grandfather’s funeral, the son of my dad’s cousin sat on my great-aunt’s lap and pulled out an Etch-A-Sketch.

“I’m drawling a picture for the girl I’m gonna marry,” he said proudly.  “She has brown hair and a birthday in April, just like me.  Her name is Charlene.  That’s spelled S-H-R-L-L-L-L-L.”

The night before, he’d asked me if I am bigger than a first-grader.

I said yes, and that I’m even bigger than a SEVENTEENTH-GRADER.  He looked amazed, and said that his friend Lauren is just a big first-grader.

Kids, man.

And now: A popular meme.

A first grade teacher collected well known proverbs. She gave each child in her class the first half of a proverb and asked them to come up with the remainder of the proverb. Their insight may surprise you.

Better to be safe than… punch a 5th grader.

Never underestimate the power of… termites.

You can lead a horse to water but… how?

Don’t bite the hand that… looks dirty.

No news is… impossible.

A miss is as good as a… Mr.

You can’t teach an old dog new… math.

If you lie down with dogs, you’ll… stink in the morning.

Love all, trust… me.

The pen is mightier than the… pigs.

An idle mind is… the best way to relax.

Where there’s smoke there’s… pollution.

A penny saved is… not much.

Don’t put off till tomorrow what…you put on to go to bed.

Laugh and the whole world laughs with you, cry and… you have to blow your nose.

None are so blind as… Stevie Wonder.

Children should be seen and not… spanked or grounded.

If at first you don’t succeed… get new batteries.

You get out of something what you… see pictured on the box.

When the blind leadeth the blind… get out of the way.

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November 21, 2009

The Boat That Rocked versus Pirate Radio: Why “Americanize” a story?

The Boat That Rocked versus Pirate Radio: Why "Americanize" a Story?

In October, I wrote a blog about my love for the soundtrack of British film The Boat That Rocked, which was re-released in America on Friday as Pirate Radio.  Given my (sadly, documented) love for Tom Sturridge, many a Twitter follower has asked for my opinion on the “Americanization” of the movie.

Here’s the thing.

I am American.  Born and bred.  Painfully Midwestern.

Young Carl in a moment of frustration with the hippie movement.

Young Carl in a moment of frustration with the hippie movement.

And I prefer the British version of the film.

There are pros and cons to both versions.  In Pirate Radio, I appreciate that the final shot of the film is the character of Young Carl, given that he is — for all intents and purposes — the actual protagonist.  I liked that we got a bit more of the crew of Radio Rock bonding at Christmas and playing Cluedo on deck, and I loved that the volume of the dialogue was bumped up to “discernable.”

However, I hated the shakycam effect… guess what?  Even without shakycam, I would have remembered that it took place on a boat!

I was terribly sad that Simple Simon’s stag party was cut from the American version, because it was such a cute scene and a beautiful way of showing the bonding of all the deejays.

Plus, cutting the singular line where Simon explains that he met “an American woman named Elenore” would cut out all of the “Whaa?” in Pirate Radio when suddenly (British) Simon’s new (assumedly British, until she opens her mouth) wife has a blaringly Midwestern accent.

WRONG ROOM!

WRONG ROOM!

Cutting Twatt’s expedition to the ship to discover the corrosion of the engines made the ending make less sense, and I missed Midnight Mark’s barrack full of naked girls, just because it further explained “How ’bout it, then?”  And because, as an American, the fact that those 30 seconds of film could contain 80 boobs really made me go, “Wow, this movie really IS European.”

I think the biggest difference overall was the pacing.  The Boat That Rocked feels like it takes place in the 1960s, with a salacious edge to its sweet silliness and an overexaggeration of male camaraderie that reminds me of The Monkees or A Hard Day’s Night.  It’s not a movie that I could ever confuse for one made in the ’60s themselves, but it channels the decade beautifully and in a way that makes me feel warm and happy when I watch it.  The scenes in The Boat That Rocked operate as sort of tenuously connected vignettes, kind of like watching a Brady Bunch marathon.

Elenore, Gee, I Think You're Swell... Ahh-AHHH...

Elenore, Gee, I Think You're Swell... Ahh-AHHH...

Pirate Radio does a better job of coercing the scenes into following a linear plotline — which, as a devotee of Young Carl, is pretty nice  because it gives him more of a focus, considering HE’S THE MAIN CHARACTER — but that, combined with the shakycam, was a little more reminiscent of an episode of Law & Order than Gidget.  It just feels much more like a modern movie, all streamlined and shiny and… shaky.  I guess I missed the sense of rambling that The Boat That Rocked has.  Kind of like a year at sea with a bunch of raucous renegade deejays on the unsuccessful run from the stodgy British government.

But overall?  Both movies are extremely enjoyable.  They have the same great music that makes you need to dance in your seat.  In either showing, you’d need to have a soul made of wood not to laugh when Nick Frost and Tom Sturridge are plotting in the bathroom.  And both movies are two hours of feel-good film, which is very hard to come by in this newfangled age.  But the “Americanized” Pirate Radio seems to have lost something in translation.


On an unrelated note, would this blog interest you more if I updated more often with sillier and shorter posts, or are sporadic posts that are slightly more worth reading a better plan?  Weigh in!

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October 23, 2009

Friday Free-For-All: Have you ever imagined a world without hypothetical situations?

In 1999, I wrote this entire meme down in my diary for safekeeping.

1. If you throw a cat out of a window, does it become kitty litter?
2. If you choke a smurf, what color will he turn?
3. If you take an Asian person and put him in Africa while spinning him around, is he then disoriented?
4. Is it okay to use AM radio in the PM?
5. What do chickens think everything tastes like?
6. What is a male ladybug called?
7. What do people in China call their good plates?
8. What does the DMV put as the hair color of a bald man?
9. When dog food claims to have “New and Improved” flavor… who tests it?
10. Why didn’t Noah swat the two mosquitoes?
11. Why do they sterilize the needle for lethal injections?
12. Why doesn’t superglue stick to the inside of the bottle?
13. Why is it called “tourist season” if we can’t shoot them?
14. Why are there drive-thru liquor stores when it’s illegal to drink and drive?
15. Why isn’t phonetic spelled the way it sounds?
16. Why are there interstates in Hawai’i?
17. Why are there only flotation devices in the seats of planes, and not parachutes?
18. Why are cigarettes sold in gas stations when smoking at gas stations is prohibited?
19. How does the guy who drives the snowplow get to work?
20. If the 7-11 is open 24 hours a day, 365 days a year, why are there locks on the door?
21. Why is bra singular and panties plural?
22. If a firefighter fights fire and a crime fighter fights crime, what do freedom fighters fight?
23. If olive oil is made by crushing olives, how is baby oil made?
24. If a cow laughs hard enough, will milk come out of her nose?
25. Why are there Braille dots on the keypads of drive-up ATMs?
26. Why is it that when you transport something by car, it’s called a shipment, but if you transport something by ship, it’s called cargo?
27. Why don’t sheep shrink when it rains?
28. Why do you drive on parkways and park on driveways?
29. If Barbie is so popular, why do you have to buy her friends separately?
30. What would Geronimo say if he jumped out of an airplane?
31. Why are apartments called apartments if they’re all stuck together?
32. If the opposite of pro is con, is congress the opposite of progress?
33. If flying is so safe, why are airports called terminals?
34. If a synchronized swimmer drowns, do they all have to drown?

I really wasn’t as clever in middle school as I thought.

What’s your favorite riddle?

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October 11, 2009

The Top Fifty Cartoon Characters of All Time – Part I

Proof That While Delayed, I Do Deliver

Proof That While Delayed, I Do Deliver

While this blog took longer to put together than I originally anticipated, here it is: the top fifty cartoon characters ever…

In my opinion.

Like the TV Guide list with which I disagree, probably because I’m not a GenXer, my list is rated by “relatability.”  So, I want to know your opinions.  Who did I forget?  Who made my list that should not be included? I want to take your ideas and turn out, in November, the ultimate Top Fifty Cartoon Characters of All Time.

TV Guide’s 2002 Greatest Cartoon Characters of All Time

1. Bugs Bunny
2. Homer Simpson
3. Rocky and Bullwinkle
4. Beavis and Butt-head
5. The Grinch
6. Fred and Barney
7. Angelica Pickles
8. Charlie Brown and Snoopy
9. SpongeBob SquarePants
10. Cartman
11. Bart and Lisa Simpson
12. Fat Albert
13. The Powerpuff Girls
14. Daffy Duck
15. Pikachu
16. Gumby
17. Betty Boop
18. Top Cat
19. Mickey Mouse
20. Popeye
21. Gerald McBoing-Boing
22. Scooby-Doo
23. Underdog
24. Josie and the Pussycats
25. Heckle and Jeckle
26. Arthur
27. Winnie the Pooh
28. Felix the Cat
29. Mr. Magoo
30. George of the Jungle
31. Ren and Stimpy
32. Tom Terrific
33. Tweety and Sylvester
34. Bill
35. Space Ghost
36. Yogi Bear and Boo Boo
37. Mighty Mouse
38. Wile E. Coyote and Road Runner
39. Superman
40. Batman
41. Daria
42. Wonder Woman
43. Donald Duck
44. Alvin
45. Boris Badenov and Natasha Fatale
46. Woody Woodpecker
47. Porky Pig
48. Bobby Hill
49. Speed Racer
50. Tom and Jerry

Hayley Anne Perkins’ Top Fifty Cartoon Characters of All Time

Icon 001
1. Scooby-Doo,
Hanna-Barbera
Icon 002
2.  Mickey Mouse,
Steamboat Willie
Icon 003
3.  Snoopy,
Peanuts
Icon 004
4.  The Grinch,
How the Grinch Stole…
Icon 005
5.  Linus Van Pelt,
A Charlie Brown Christmas
Icon 006
6.  Dino Flintstone,
The Flintstones
Icon 007
7.  Elroy Jetson,
The Jetsons
Icon 008
8.  Doug Funnie,
Nickelodeon’s Doug
Icon 009
9.  Underdog,
Underdog
Icon 010
10.  Rocky & Bullwinkle,
Rocky & Bullwinkle
Icon 011
11.  Winnie-the-Pooh,
The Hundred Acre Wood
Icon 012
12.  Patti Mayonnaise,
Nickelodeon’s Doug
Icon 013
13.  Tino Tonitini,
The Weekenders
Icon 014
14.  Arthur Read,
Arthur
Icon 015
15.  Velma Dinkley,
Hanna-Barbera
Icon 016
16.  The Muppet Babies,
The Muppet Babies
Icon 017
17.  Minnie Mouse,
Walt Disney
Icon 018
18.  Boris Badenov &
Natasha Fatale
Icon 019
19.  Rosie the Robot,
The Jetsons
Icon 020
20.  Animated Lizzie,
Lizzie McGuire
Icon 021
21.  Pepperment Patty,
Peanuts
Icon 022
22.  Theodore,
The Chipmunks
Icon 023
23.  Charlie Brown,
Peanuts
Icon 024
24.  Squidward,
Spongebob Squarepants
Icon 025
25.  Cosmo & Wanda,
The Fairly Odd-Parents
Icon 026
26.  Peabody & Sherman,
Rocky & Bullwinkle
Icon 027
27.  The Gummi Bears,
The Gummi Bears
Icon 028
28.  Stan & Kyle,
South Park
Icon 029
29.  Lisa Simpson,
The Simpsons
Icon 030
30.  Roger,
American Dad!
Icon 031
31.  Shaggy Jones,
Hanna-Barbera
Icon 032
32.  Ms. Frizzle,
The Magic School Bus
Icon 033
33.  Betty & Barney Rubble,
The Flintstones
Icon 034
34.  Judy Jetson,
The Jetsons
Icon 035
35.  Daphne & Fred,
Hanna-Barbera
Icon 036
36.  Cindy Lou Who,
How The Grinch Stole…
Icon 037
37.  Cartman,
South Park
Icon 038
38.  The Archies,
The Archies
Icon 039
39.  Philip J. Fry,
Futurama
Icon 040
40.  Clone High Character
Ensemble
Icon 041
41.  Garfield,
Garfield & Friends
Icon 042
42.  Tommy Pickles,
Rugrats
Icon 043
43.  Futurama Character
Ensemble
Icon 044
44.  Betty Boop,
Betty Boop
Icon 045
45.  The Care Bears
Character Collection
Icon 046
46.  Rainbow Brite,
Rainbow Brite
Icon 047
47.  Lois Griffin,
Family Guy
Icon 048
48.  D.W. Read,
Arthur
Icon 049
49.  Huey, Dewey, & Louie,
DuckTales
Icon 050
50.  Tiny Toons,
Tiny Toons
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October 9, 2009

Friday Free-For-All: The Friday5

A short meme courtesy The Friday5

  1. What are the titles of the last three books you read all of [in their entirety]?
    The Darling Rebels, by Siobhan Nichols; The Beatles Anthology, by The Beatles; and City of Ashes, by Cassandra Clare.
  2. What are the titles of between three and five magazines you subscribe to or used to subscribe to?
    Food & Wine, Gourmet (sob sob!), Girls’ Life/GL, American Girl, and Time Out New York.  I honestly subscribe to way more newsletters and mailing lists than magazines.
  3. What’s on your night table?
    A lamp.  And an alarm clock.
  4. What are the three best things that happened to you in the past seven days?
    My high school best friend is coming to visit and will arrive shortly; My editor was very happy with the beginnings of one of my Metempsyche world short stories; my car radio spontaneously generated life and works again.
  5. What was your senior yearbook quote, and what would your yearbook quote be this year if there were such a thing?
    We didn’t get “yearbook quotes,” as it were, but I did get two quotes regarding plays that I was in.  I’m pretty sure that my favorite one said, “I got to be tan and blonde, which was unusual, and I almost suffocated my best friend with a wig.  Best.  Play.  Ever.”

    My quote this year would either be a line from Green or a Beatles lyric, dependent on how I thought the audience would perceive me using my own work.

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September 25, 2009

Friday Free-For-All: Pointe Shoes

Isadora Duncan said (and I’m paraphrasing),

“When I was in ballet school, my teachers told me to put on points. When I asked him why, he said, ‘Because it is beautiful.’ I said no, it was ugly and unnatural, and I would not put them on…”

Now, I love Isadora Duncan. One of the greatest compliments I have ever gotten was being told that I had “arms like Isadora” (which is also my favorite name for the band I will probably never have). But I completely disagree with her philosophy on pointe shoes.

I got my first pair of pointes when I was twelve. It was the summer before seventh grade, and I had been working towards the ultimate goal of toe shoes for nine years years — and by working, I really mean working. My dance teachers made me relearn to stand and walk before I was even allowed to take the balance and bone density tests — I stood with my weight on the inner edge of my feet, so that the arches rested flat on the ground. I had to practice standing and, more difficult, shifting weight and walking, with my feet readjusted to properly displace my weight on the soles of my feet.

They examined my progress almost every day for the last year before I was finally allowed to get the shoes. It exhausted my calf muscles and, in my indignant opinion, is the reason I have cankles. They’re only little cankles. Much more “-ankle”y than… “c-.”

However, it finally worked, and I stand correctly — which does, as much as I hate my cankles, make my hips and knees feel a lot better than they did when I was very young and had to stand for any real length of time — and was allowed to get pointe shoes.

As per my studio’s requirements, I went to a professional fitter for my shoes. This was a zaftig old Russian-American woman with bleach-blonde, voluminous hair, inch-long curved fingernails, drawn on eyebrows, and the autographs of all of the Joffrey and Milwaukee Ballet dancers whom she had fitted proudly displayed on all of her walls. Before I could be fitted, I had to meet her Requirements:

  • Less than 10% curvature of the spine
  • Less than 21% body fat
  • Pink ballet tights, no runs
  • Sleeveless dark-colored leotard
  • Perfect ballet bun in hair
  • The ability to stand on demi-pointe in first position 1minute+
  • The ability to stand on demi-pointe in second position 1minute+
  • The ability to stand on demi-pointe in fifth position 1minute+
  • The ability to stand on demi-pointe on right and left food, respectively, in retirée 1minute+

Mind you that these Requirements were all “by her observation,” not by actual medical standards.

Basically, you had to Look Like A Dancer.

Once I was deemed acceptable, she examined my feet. She also informed me that I have the biggest big toes she’s ever seen, and even took pictures of my feet for her Foot Book (a little creepy, yeah).

So, I’m a big-big-toed freak. Awesome.

Then, FINALLY, I got to get fitted for my shoes. First I learned to use lambs’ wool to cushion my toes from bearing the full brunt of my weight against the floor (take a 8-10 inch long piece of specialized lambs’ wool. Flatten into an 8″x4″ rectangle. Comb out. Fold in half. Wrap around toes, from cuneiform metatarsals, spreading to cover tips of toes, particularly cushioning first cuneiform and toe tips, like a banana skin).

Then we tried a pair of shoes. Gaynor Minden, high vamp, low arch. Clearly not the right shoes for my foot.

Then a second pair — Sansha, wide box, ultralow vamp, medium arch. Also not right, which was OK with me, because they were matte and I wanted the satin as long as I was allowed to keep it (we had to calomine our shoes into matching matte pink clones for performances).

Then, a third pair: Grishko, with a severely tapered toe on an extra-wide box, extralow vamp, 3/4-height steel roll-through shank, medium-low arch.

I had my first pointe shoes.

I rose onto pointe for the first official time, and Sylvia (the fitter) snapped a polaroid for me. My mom was taking pictures, too, but I love the polaroid best because it somehow feels the most “official.”

Isadora, you were wrong.

They might be unnatural, sure, but pointe shoes are beautiful.

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September 18, 2009

Friday Free-For-All: Letters Survey

Leave me a comment and I will give you a letter. Then, go to your journal and post ten things you love starting with that letter. Give your friends letters, too.

My beautiful friend Indira petiiit gave me the letter “M.”

  1. Madeline Kahn in Clue.
  2. Mexican Hot Chocolate Mochas from Innkeepers.  OK, they’re called “Cococcinos,” but the description is Mexican Hot Chocolate Mocha.
  3. Macadamia nuts.  Deelish.
  4. Mr. Robert Pattinson.  I maintain that this counts.  If you get “D,” you can put Dame Maggie Smith.  Or “S,” Sir Paul McCartney.  It’s all kosher.
  5. Mid-90’s sitcoms.
  6. Midcentury celebrities: George Harrison, Pattie Boyd, Paul McCartney, Jane Asher, Keith Richards, Marianne Faithfull, Ringo Starr, etc etc etc.
  7. Markers.
  8. Mickey Mouse.  Double M’s; I win!
  9. Mu Shu Vegetable.
  10. Mr. Feeny!
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September 11, 2009

Friday Free-For-All: Unrequited Love

There was a time when I thought we were over for good, but now I know.

I am still in love with the idea of New York City.

Now, New York City was not in love with me.  It shooed me away, from borough to borough… to borough… to borough; it left me crying on high-rise subway platforms alone in the wrong boroughs entirely during thunderstorms at 4 a.m.; it charged me $22 for movies starring Shia LaBeouf; it puked on me on the Staten Island Ferry (in this case ‘it’ being ‘a drunk 21-year-old stranger).

But it gave me beautiful bouquets of mild sea-breezes and a pretty autumn.

It showered me in pistachio macarons and sweet, cold azuki mochi, and introduced me to its great friend of ultra-sour frozen yogurt from Pinkberry, Yoberry, and Red Mango.  We spent many a teatime glugging Bubble Tea from Le Petit Belge while people-watching in the Union Square greenmarket.

New York City helped me to feel like the sophisticate artiste I had wanted to be on the days we spent trolling, teary-eyed, through The Strand to find cheap books with that spicy printed paper smell, or wandering lost through the Village to find midnight premieres of British indie movies or hole-in-the-wall concert venues for tiny local bands that have only eight fans.

There were the bittersweet moments of intimidation in SoHo, the days too cloudy to see Lady Liberty from the Ferry, and the frustration of always, always having my grilled cheese forgotten on the griddle at Think Coffee (which is otherwise my second-favorite coffee shop in the world).

When I was younger, New York City could do no wrong.  As with most relationships, as I got older and actually experienced it, I became jaded and the fall from grace of my idol city left me too blind to remember why I wanted to be involved with it at all.

Time has passed enough now that I can recall the immense good with the bad (Bedbugs!  Squatting in Boerum Hill!  A four-hour commute to a six-hour shift at work!  Falling in puddles outside Whitehall Terminal!).

From my journals in New Y0rk:

23 December

I saw the Rockefeller Center tree, and watched the skaters circle round and round the golden-lit rink.

I was ignored in Gucci (again) but didn’t have to suffer through being called fat by Swedish Prada models in Bergdorf’s (although yesterday, Lily Cole called me ‘quite cool’ and asked where was ‘the queue to the wash-up’).

FAO Schwartz’ giant stuffed animals were everything I ever hoped they would be.  There was a duo of siblings in matching Fair Isles Christmas sweaters jumping around on the giant piano, and they were precious.

AT FAO SCHWARTZ YOU CAN HAVE MADE YOUR OWN CUSTOM MUPPET.  If I am ever rich, I will have my own fleet of Muppets.  That is, now that I know it is possible, the epitome of all my life’s dreams.  Fleet of custom Muppets.

I had dessert at the Plaza.  It was so beautiful it was almost scary, and there is no portrait of Eloise on the wall anymore, just a case of 2004-rerelease Eloise memorabilia for sale in the side lobby.  The waitstaff all wear tuxedos with tails and have cufflinks.  Dessert was served with literal silver spoons, despite the fact that I clearly was not born with one in my mouth.  The chocolate pot de creme with chantilly cream and chocolate streusel was divine, and it was free, because a middle-aged Armenian man who was too mild-mannered to Richard-Gere-in-Pretty-Woman himself out more than to order us French fries surreptitiously, which he sent back when we didn’t want them, paid for it.

I used the strategy I learned for such occasions on Long Island: ”Thank you,” and leave immediately.

The lights on the ironwork were almost enough to make me wish I were rich enough or self-deprecating enough to stay at the Plaza for Christmas, though.

And if I did, I would completely pour a pitcher of water down the mail chute.

19 March

Sitting on the downtown R, listening to “American Pie” by Don McLean and clutching my fangirl copy of GQ with sweaty palms.

Watching the girl with an afro and huge silver plate earrings drink red wine from a balloon goblet as she watches the band on a backdrop of Persian rugs.

The yell of the little girl in pink pants on the Staten Island Ferry as she points out the window: ”Grandpa!  Look!  It’s a mermaid!  A real mermaid!”

Things aren’t so bad.

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August 28, 2009

Friday Free-For-All: A Good Cause

Filed under: Friday Free-For-All, Nostalgia & Memories — Tags: , , — admin @ 12:33 pm

Today’s FFFA is less light-hearted than usual — but how could anyone, in good conscience, write a romantic lead who’s a werewolf and not try to do their part in spreading the word about the protection of real wolf species?

The following text comes on behalf of http://www.savewolves.org:

As the new head of Defenders of Wildlife’s legal team, I’m getting ready to fly to Missoula, Montana for Monday’s hearing in federal court on our motion to stop the wolf hunts in Idaho and Montana.

Before I leave, I want to personally send my sincere thanks to the more than 27,000 Defenders supporters who have sent emails or called the White House in the last 24 hours and the more than 3,000 people who have supported our legal efforts with emergency donations to the Campaign to Save America’s Wolves.

On Monday, we’ll have just a few hours to convince a federal judge to stop irresponsible wolf hunts in Idaho (scheduled to begin Tuesday!) and Montana (scheduled to start September 15th). Unless we prevail, hundreds of wolves could be killed with many pups left orphaned to starve to death over the cold winter months.

As we prepare for Monday’s fight, Defenders of Wildlife is also mobilizing activists in Idaho and Montana — and across America — to save the lives of these wolves. To succeed, we’ll need your help.

Please make an emergency donation now to help support our efforts to save these wolves and other imperiled animals.

I’m proud of what Defenders of Wildlife has accomplished for America’s wolves over the years.

With the help of caring people like you, Defenders of Wildlife helped lead the fight to restore wolves to the northern Rockies. Since then, our on-the-ground conservation work has been reducing local conflicts between wolves and livestock producers. And, with the help of caring wildlife supporters like you, last year the Defenders legal team and our allies were able to stop the out-of-control killing of wolves in Wyoming and restore vital protections for wolves in that state.

But now we face an even greater challenge as Idaho and Montana gear up to eliminate hundreds of wolves through hunting and other means.

Idaho plans to sell an outrageous 70,000 permits to hunt and kill as many as 220 of the estimated 1,000 wolves in the state, with Montana allowing as many as 75 wolves to be hunted in that state. And that’s just this year!

Under the U.S. Fish and Wildlife Service’s wolf delisting rule, Idaho and Montana are free to reduce the wolf population down to 150 per state — potentially killing roughly two-thirds of the wolves in the northern Rockies and Greater Yellowstone region.

The future of wolves in the northern Rockies and Greater Yellowstone may well rest on our actions in the next few days. Please help support our court fight and other efforts to save wolves.

With Gratitude,

Mike Senatore
Vice President, Conservation Law
Defenders of Wildlife

P.S. To support our work on behalf of wolves at this critical time, please make a secure donation online or call 1-800-385-9712 to make a contribution over the phone.

I have seen one wild wolf in my lifetime, and it was an extraordinarily surreal experience.

Now that I think about it, it probably had a lot of impact on my view of them as being almost mythical creatures unto themselves, very ethereal and scary and beautiful.

Growing up, I lived in a suburban subdivision that bordered a nature preserve on one edge and a small area of marshland on the other.

The marshland was very tamed — lots of fallen trees made bridges across the small creek, high schoolers like myself would trek through it to the soccer field to make out, the largest animals I’d ever seen there were some pennytoads.

The forest preserve fence didn’t have any holes in it, so I’d never been there.

However, every once in a great while, someone would see deer tracks across the snow in their backyard in winter, or rumors of a coyote eating neighborhood cats would ripple through the neighborhood.

It was never a big deal.

One gray, foggy morning my Sophomore year of high school, I stood on the corner at the bus stop, waiting for my neighbors Andrew and Paul to arrive, and I noticed something amiss in the dense mist.

Sitting back on its haunches right in the middle of Andrew’s front yard was an enormous gray wolf.

It stood up, circled itself once, and sat back down again in the same spot, docilely watching Andrew’s front door.

And I stood across the street, staring at it through the fog, appreciating nature for the first time in my life.

Andrew hid inside his foyer until he nearly missed the bus, waiting for the wolf to leave his path, trotting out into the backyard instead.  His mother called the Humane Society to pick it up, and for some reason I recall that it wasn’t from the preserve, but was actually MIA from one of Chicago’s zoos.

I’m not certain whether that’s true or a local legend, but either way, the wolf was peaceful and beautiful and I thought about it all that day, even after boarding the bus and leaving the subdivision.

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