Home Biography Metempsyche Blog Bibliophilia Random & Fan Contact

December 31, 2009

Countdowns of 2009: The Best Blog/Diary/Journal Entries of the Decade

Let’s party like it’s ten years ago today!

My Favorite Blog/Diary/Journal Entries of the Decade

* Names have been changed to protect the not-so-innocent.

99% of these probably don’t make sense to anyone, even the other people who were there.  A few of them barely still make sense to me.  I think that’s the sign of a decade well-lived, don’t you?

June 12, 2000

(2009 Note: This is a clear example of why not to write comics with your friends, about your friends, that only your friends could understand.)

The Fighting Fitzpeople

July 4, 2001

The most EMBARRASSING thing that ever happened to me…..

THE MOST embarrassing thing that EVER happened to me was, well, see, one day, the clasp on my bra broke and so my mom brought me another one, and I put the broken bra into a bag in my binder.  2 Weeks later, Eugene stole the bag out of my binder and left it in the Spanish room.  Chris M. found it, waved it around, and Sra. L. HUNG IT IN THE DOORWAY w/ a sign that said “¿De quien es esta bra?”  So I made a sign the next day that said “Don’t go through others’ binders (Eugene!)” so Ann made a sign that said “Don’t leave your bra in the Spanish Room (HAYLEY!!!)”

December 26, 2002

Amy and my BRILLIANT theory to the world of Harry Potter… it was actually MY theory, but I’m letting her share the credit.

Our idea as to why Voldemort wanted to kill Harry and James Potter is as follows:

According to a theory on Mugglenet.com (and our own slightly slow common sense), Harry and James were both heirs to Gryffindor – they lived in Godric’s hollow, and Harry succeeded in pulling Gryffindor’s sword out of the Sorting Hat during his battle with the Basilisk, the monster of Slytherin. Voldemort, knowing this and being the heir to Slytherin, targeted them because he wanted to finish Salazar’s work and end the quibble that had arisen between the two Hogwarts founders.

To further confuse you, Neville is a parallel to Peter Pettigrew, as they both were tag-alongs to three more popular and powerful wizards in their year.

Ginny is a parallel to Lily, because they both have red hair and are at nature good people and physically beautiful.

Since Neville is a parallel to Pettigrew, and has shown interest in Ginny, who is in turn parallel to Lily, we think that Pettigrew was attracted to Lily.

Voldemort, knowing that Pettigrew had lusted for Lily, and had had his heart broken when James married her, got Pettigrew to unleash his hidden wrath towards James by betraying James and Harry’s whereabouts to Voldemort.

We know that Voldemort did not have any interest in murdering Lily until she got in the way of him killing Harry. He even told her, “Stand aside, silly girl!” Therefore, we know that he, being the heir of Slytherin, was only after the heirs of Gryffindor – James and Harry – and not Lily, who was just Lily.

So that is our theory as to why Voldemort wanted to murder Harry and James Potter.

teehee, gigglegiggle. bahahahahahahaa.

WE ARE BLOODY BRILLIANT!!!!!!

KTODSPAF,

<3Hayley

August 5, 2003

This was the best night of my life.

August 3, 2004

6 Girls
+ 7 Boys
+ 10,000 Marshmallows
+ 10 Sidewalk Chalks
+ 2 Cars
+ 1 Policeman
+ 1 Creepy Whisper
+ Midnight
__________________
One Crazy, Crazy Night

November 1, 2005

My new goal is to try and blog more like Meg Cabot, who somehow always has enough to say that it takes her a lot of words.

Sometimes, I am very daunted by words. I’m always afraid that somehow, I will run out of them, and then I won’t have anything to do with my life. I go to the library or a bookstore, and I see all of the books there, and I think…

Holy crap.  Look how many words have been used up.

It just doesn’t seem like there are that many more combinations of them that are possible.

And whenever I read something absolutely wonderful, like the ( tropopause monologue ) of Angels in America, I think, “That combination of words is so breathtaking… and no one can ever use it again and claim it their own. There are so few breathtaking combinations of words that can be mine.”

I get paranoid about everything I write after that, because a) WHAT IF I INADVERTANTLY COPIED SOMEONE ELSE’S ENTIRE BOOK? and b) WHAT IF SOMEONE ELSE PUBLISHES MY COMBINATIONS OF WORDS BEFORE I GET THE CHANCE TO, AND THEN NO ONE WILL BELIEVE THEY’RE MINE?

Then I hate words for a few minutes, and try to get by without them. But thinking without words is difficult sometimes, and if someone comes in, communicating without words can be awkward.

It is a dilemma.

August 25, 2006

Dear Veronica Mars,

I have been watching your show far too much on YouTube. Can you teach me how to solve mysteries? I lose stuff a lot.

Sincerely,
Hayley

December 25, 2007

Best. Christmas. Ever.

The moral of the story is, if you’re two years old and you get a Barbie fork stuck so far up your nose that X-rays can’t find it (and they try to drug-test your mother because it’s 1989 and you accidentally told them it was a spoon up your nose and they assume you got the idea from watching your mother snort blow, when really it was a fork all along and your mother did no such thing!) and you eventually sneeze it out all over your poor harassed mother at dinner and it almost breaks your neck because your dad is holding your head in place; and then you refuse to talk about it for almost a week before very seriously telling your father, “I did it because there was a booger I couldn’t reach”… then you’ll laugh about it until you’re bawling eighteen years later.

Not that I ever got a fork stuck up my nose when I was two.

My Barbies still aren’t allowed to eat dinner.

December 23, 2008

I saw the Rockefeller Center tree, and watched the skaters circle round and round the golden-lit rink.

I was ignored in Gucci (again) but didn’t have to suffer through being called fat by Swedish Prada models in Bergdorf’s (although yesterday, Lily Cole called me ‘quite cool’ and asked where was ‘the queue to the wash-up’).

FAO Schwartz’ giant stuffed animals were everything I ever hoped they would be.  There was a duo of siblings in matching Fair Isles Christmas sweaters jumping around on the giant piano, and they were precious.

AT FAO SCHWARTZ YOU CAN HAVE MADE YOUR OWN CUSTOM MUPPET.  If I am ever rich, I will have my own fleet of Muppets.  That is, now that I know it is possible, the epitome of all my life’s dreams.  Fleet of custom Muppets.

I had dessert at the Plaza.  It was so beautiful it was almost scary, and there is no portrait of Eloise on the wall anymore, just a case of 2004-rerelease Eloise memorabilia for sale in the side lobby.  The waitstaff all wear tuxedos with tails and have cufflinks.  Dessert was served with literal silver spoons, despite the fact that I clearly was not born with one in my mouth.  The chocolate pot de creme with chantilly cream and chocolate streusel was divine, and it was free, because a middle-aged Armenian man who was too mild-mannered to Richard-Gere-in-Pretty-Woman himself out more than to order us French fries surreptitiously, which he sent back when we didn’t want them, paid for it.

I used the strategy I learned for such occasions on Long Island: ”Thank you,” and leave immediately.

The lights on the ironwork were almost enough to make me wish I were rich enough or self-deprecating enough to stay at the Plaza for Christmas, though.

And if I did, I would completely pour a pitcher of water down the mail chute.

March 23, 2009
http://hayleyanneperkins.com/blog/?p=3

I’ve been trying to think of an appropriate way to christen my new blog as Hayley Anne Perkins, but my ideas always seem to fall short, at least in my own mind.  I’m very conscious of the implications of blogging to an audience that comprises more than just your best friends and your mom… I’m vaguely terrified of saying, or rather typing, just the wrong thing in just the wrong way and coming across as a terrible person.  Or at least as a person with an overinflated sense of self-importance, which is just as bad in a blogger.

So to break the ice: my ode to NYC Teen Author Festival 2009.

To preface this extremely bizarre gobbledygook — NYCTAF09 (I’m lazy and enjoy acronyms) was awesome.   I had an amazing time meeting all of the authors and several readers, and everyone was really nice and extraordinarily “chill” for it being an autograph signing… given my boy band expertise, I’m used to autograph signings involving at least three fainters and a tablejumper.  I was glad to see that everyone was patient and open to conversing with everyone else in line as they waited, and it was a treat to see the way that the writers complemented (and complimented!) each other.

While most people at the event today brought or bought stacks of books by their favorite writers, I brought the ultimate book: the Dictionary.

I asked every author to sign over their favorite word, and I promised to take the collection of Best Words and write a little mishmash of a piece.  Elise Broach said that I should try to get them all in order, and I seriously considered it until I started trying to decipher the autographs, and I realized that I was forgetting the order already.  Sigh.

The form was promised to Judy Blundell for her choice — “poem” — and the tone to Heather Duffy-Stone… “lusty”.  Unfortunately for all parties involved, poetry is the second-furthest thing from being my forte (with Math beating it easily).  Anyone I’ve ever dated can attest.  Therefore, given that this is not only a poem, but a poem using nonsense words, I hope no one takes it TOO seriously as a test of my writing ability!  Unless you love it, in which case, this is totally how I write…

You couldn’t see it, but my eyes got very shifty at that last sentence.

And I have to say, David Levithan saying that he was excited to read the finished endeavor pretty much killed me.  So here goes.

Ned Vizzini Stole My Pen
A Lusty Poem

Twin popes –
one pulchritudinous, the other feculant
in appearance –
both indefatigable in their vast perversity,
though incredulous of the idealism of the other:
one a bonvivant in deep meditation on generosity and grace,
the other in love with his epiphany on ecstasy,
sneaked into the basement of the church
ignoring the musical comedy rehearsal
upstairs.

One facetiously donned a crash
the other merely a lush apron
as they prepared to bake treats
for their family reunion
beneath the moon.

There could be no peace between these two brothers.
Discussion broke down in their unctuous disregard for each other
like a luffing sailboat’s disregard for the wind
when fighting its way through a sluice
(in simile, not metaphor);
Something was always wrong.

As delicious purple rhubarb dumplings
vied for space amongst the donuts
an ephemeral smoke began to rise:
almost magical in its majesty
And the brothers watched,
thunderstruck.

As they watched in wonder,
the metal of the pots against the stove –
fulminate metals –
began to coruscate,
shooting sparks into the air.

The pastries were ruined.
The brothers found between them a new sublimity:
they no longer had to bring dessert to the reunion
thanks to a force majeure.

LOVE – Nora Baskin
PURPLE - Jessica Blank
POEM - Judy Blundell
MEDITATION – Coe Booth
ECSTASY - Elise Broach
PEACE - Susane Colasanti
EPIPHANY (BUT NOT IN A RELIGIOUS SENSE)* – Sarah Darer-Littman
GRACE (NOT CHRISTIAN GRACE)* – Matt de la Pena
LUST – Heather Duffy-Stone
GENEROSITY – Gayle Forman
LUSH – Aimee Friedman
UNCTUOUS – Madeleine George
POPE – Maureen Johnson
TWIN – Kristen Kemp
PULCHRITUDINOUS – Justine Larbalestier
WONDER – David Levithan
DUMPLING – E. Lockhart
CORUSCATE – Barry Lyga
FAMILY – Carolyn Mackler
RHUBARB – Sarah MacLean
SUBLIME – Megan McCafferty
DELICIOUS - Lauren McLaughlin
LUSH - Neesha Meminger
SOMETHING (BECAUSE “SOMETHING IS GOOD”) – Billy Merrell
CRASH – Blake Nelson
BONVIVANT – Micol Ostow
INCREDULOUS - David Ozanich
EPHEMERAL (BUT ONLY FOR TODAY) – Matthue Roth
FORCE MAJEURE - Marie Rutkoski
SNEAK – Lisa Ann Sandell
FACETIOUS (BUT FOR REAL) – Courtney Sheinmel
DONUT (NOT DOUGHNUT) – Brian Sloan
IDEALISM - Jennifer Smith
PERVERSITY – Rachel Vail
INCREDULOUS – David Van Etten
LUFF – Ned Vizzini
SLUICE – Adrienne Maria Vrettos
INDEFATIGABLE - Cecily von Ziegesar
MOON - Melissa Walker
THUNDERSTRUCK - Lynn Weingarten
FECULANT - Scott Westerfeld
VAST - Suzanne Weyn
MUSICAL COMEDY - Maryrose Wood
METAPHOR – Lizabeth Zindel

FULMINATE” and “MAGICAL,” I am so sorry, but I can’t read your autographs or remember who wrote them… if it was you, please reclaim your Favorite Word in a comment!

  • Share/Bookmark

December 30, 2009

Countdowns of 2009: Books

Clearly, I did not write one-a-day, but it just seemed too many categories.

One a day until it’s time to party like it’s ten years ago!

Bests in Books of 2009

The full list of my recommended reads (to date) is here, but these are my choice books of 2009 — some new releases, some new discoveries, and some that reminded me of their brilliance this year!

James Bond, 007: Dr. No

  • Share/Bookmark

December 21, 2009

Countdowns of 2009: Television

This Wednesday’s #YALitChat on Twitter had the theme “Bests of 2009 in YA: Books, Music, Movies, TV, Anything!”

I’ve been thinking ever since.

So, to finish out 2009, here are my own lists of The Bests of 2009, one a day until it’s time to party like it’s ten years ago.

Bests in Television of 2009

I watch a lot of television.

There were several ways that I debated writing my countdown — best new shows, best overall shows, best characters, best moments.  So rather than trying to choose only one, this list is less of a countdown than… an awards show, with lots of categories, pretty dresses, and shiny gold men.

Best New TV Show

Glee

Glee

This should not surprise anyone.  Just as it was for me in high school, my love for show choir dramedy is a compulsion. Time seems to be measured this fall in minutes until Glee, and moments watching Glee.

Runner Up: The Vampire Diaries

Best New Season of a Returning Show

Castle

Castle

Any comedic crime drama about a novelist cannot be bad.

That is a statement just itching to be proven wrong, but until it is, Castle is king.  There is no sophomore slump for this show, and I’ve loved seeing more of Alexis (Castle’s sage teenage daughter) and banter between secondary characters Ryan and Esposito.  Castle is one of the few “cult appeal” shows that I think the second season surpasses the first in quality, and I’m eagerly looking forward for more.

One particular highlight was that the victim in the episode “Vampire Weekend” was clearly cast to resemble Robert Pattinson-as-Edward Cullen, and it amused me.

Runner Up: Bones

Biggest Shark Jumping Escapade

Heroes

Heroes

Heroes has been moving downwind for a long time.  I, personally, liked the second season.  I liked West.  I liked Claire/West.  I liked Molly, and I still liked Mohinder.  I thought that Monique’s power was awesome and that Micah was continuously the most fascinating character on the show.  I loved Elle, Season Two Sylar, and GabriElle.  I did not like Maya and Alejandro.

So of course, Molly is gone, West is gone,  Micah is gone, Monique is gone, Elle is very very dead, and Maya has stuck around as persistently as the virus that seeps from her eyes.

And instead they give us a really creepy carnival… because who doesn’t love a good death-filled scuzzy carnival?… and some sort of plotline about Parkman and Sylar being each other?  I can’t even follow that.  Nor can I get behind it as a viewer.

And suddenly, because she is in college, and hot, Claire is a lesbian.

I am totally OK with Claire being a lesbian.  I am not OK with how the show has handled that particular storyline, and I think that the ways it is shown are total cop-outs to try to regain male viewership.

Lame.

Runner Up: Criminal Minds

Best Bounce Back from Possible Shark Jumping

Bones

Bones

I have been nervous about Bones‘ eventual decline ever since the supreme awesomeness of season three’s Gormogon story arc concluded, because… well how could they beat that?

They haven’t beaten it, nor have they approached its level of intrigue, but Bones has been consistently excellent through the last two seasons, and seems to really be hitting its stride in the development of the whole slew of new characters introduced in season four.

Mister Nigel Murray makes my heart sing.  Daisy doesn’t make me want to punch her in the face anymore.  I do not like Wendell, but it’s because I actually dislike him as a character and not because he’s an unlikably written character.

It took a whole season, but Bones has its mojo back.

Runner Up: CSI: New York

Best Overall Episode

"Preggers," Glee

“Preggers,” Glee

Again, no surprise.

Runner Up: “Stress Relief,” The Office

  • Share/Bookmark

December 19, 2009

Countdowns of 2009: Movies

This Wednesday’s #YALitChat on Twitter had the theme “Bests of 2009 in YA: Books, Music, Movies, TV, Anything!”

I’ve been thinking ever since.

So, to finish out 2009, here are my own lists of The Bests of 2009, one a day until it’s time to party like it’s ten years ago.

Best New Movies of 2009

Here’s the thing about movies and me: I don’t see a whole lot of them, and they pretty much stick to a small range of themes/actors/aesthetics/plotlines.  I’m splitting this list in two parts — Movies of 20o9 That I Saw And Liked, and Movies of 2009 That I Will See and Will Like.

Movies of 2009 That I Saw and Liked

Saw in theaters November, Illinois
Saw in theaters November, Illinois

The Boat That Rocked (Pirate Radio)
DIR.
Richard Curtis
CAST
Philip Seymour Hoffman    …     The Count
Tom Sturridge    …     Carl
Bill Nighy    …     Quentin
Will Adamsdale    …     News John
Tom Brooke    …     Thick Kevin
Rhys Darby    …     Angus
Nick Frost    …     Dave
Katherine Parkinson    …     Felicity
Chris O’Dowd    …     Simon
Ike Hamilton    …     Harold
Kenneth Branagh    …     Sir Alistair Dormandy
Tom Wisdom    …     Mark
Jack Davenport    …     Twatt
Ralph Brown    …     Bob
Rhys Ifans    …     Gavin
Talulah Riley    …     Marianne
January Jones    …     Elenore
Emma Thompson    …     Charlotte

I doubt I need to reiterate my love for this movie again.  Just look at the cast list if you don’t believe my faith in its grooviness.

Saw in April, NYC
Saw in April, NYC

How To Be

DIR. Oliver Irving
CAST
Robert Pattinson     …     Art
Powell Jones    …     Dr. Ellington
Mike Pearce    …     Nikki
Johnny White    …     Ronny

The best part of this movie is Ronny, played by Johnny White.  Ronny is the agoraphobic, nitrous oxide addicted best friend of the movie’s protagonist, and many of the film’s more humorous moments take place in Ronny’s flat.  Ronny enjoys spying on the deli across the street with his binoculars because “the delicatesseries look quite delicious.”

When I saw the film, the cast (minus Pattinson) did a Q&A after the showing and Johnny White stuttered a lot, which made me love Ronny even more.

Then the subway ticketing machine ate my $104 at 3:30 AM (after the midnight showing) and I felt very much like the poster for this film was the poster for my life, which is pretty much the point of the whole movie if you’re in your twenties and want to have some sort of independent, creative profession.

Saw in August, Illinois
Saw in August, Illinois

Taking Woodstock
DIR.
Ang Lee
CAST
Demetri Martin     …     Elliot Tiber
Emile Hirsch    …     Billy
Paul Dano    …     VW Guy
Kelli Garner    …     VW Girl
Henry Goodman     …     Jake Teichberg
Imelda Staunton    …     Sonia Teichberg
Eugene Levy    …     Max Yasgur
Jonathan Groff     …     Michael Lang

This movie was completely different than I expected it would be — I was picturing something more like Across the Universe (2007), lush and full of music and colors.  Instead, this movie is… almost depressing.  It does a really good job of showing the ’60s counterculture as a dirty, hungry, damaged phenomenon as much as it is one of beauty and ideas, and I’ve never seen another film that balances the two sides quite so well.

Demetri Martin is also completely adorable, and Jonathan Groff is absolutely transcendent; he was my favorite part of the movie.

However, I never needed to see the parts of Emile Hirsch that belong inside his pants.  Never.

Saw in May, NYC
Saw in May, NYC

Little Ashes (Sin Limites)

DIR. Paul Morrison
CAST
Javier Beltrán     …     Federico García Lorca
Robert Pattinson    …     Salvador Dalí
Matthew McNulty    …     Luis Buñuel
Marina Gatell    …     Magdalena

I’m very fascinated by Spain in the period between WWI and the Spanish Civil War, and Federico García Lorca is one of my favorite poets.

However, I won’t pretend like Pattinson’s crazy mustache wasn’t a major draw in my interest in this film.

It’s just so curly!

While it’s clear that this is a lower-budget indie film, and not all of the acting is impeccable, I really enjoyed this movie and found it emotionally wrenching, particularly the ending.

Any movie about Lorca cannot end happily, and even though you know what’s coming, Little Ashes succeeds in making it shocking and disturbing and painful anyway.  Javier Beltrán does a beautiful job playing the tragic poet.

I got unbelievably lost trying to find the theatre for this movie in NoLIta, and then all of the trailers were actually commercials for really weird, bohemian things like German hybrid cars and oil paints and stuff.

Saw in July, Illinois
Saw in July, Illinois

Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince
DIR.
David Yates
CAST
Daniel Radcliffe    …     Harry Potter
Rupert Grint    …     Ron Weasley
Emma Watson    …     Hermione Granger
Jim Broadbent    …     Professor Horace Slughorn
Michael Gambon    …     Professor Albus Dumbledore
Bonnie Wright    …     Ginny Weasley
Tom Felton      …     Draco Malfoy

This is the first Harry Potter movie that I actually liked, and it’s the first one that everyone else I know hates.

Yes, they cut out huge portions of the book.

Yes, they alluded to the actual canon ships (Harry/Hermione shippers, get out! To paraphrase JK Rowling: “Harry and Hermione? Eurgh!”).

But I personally choose to believe, until I am almost inevitably proven wrong, that the cut portions from HBP will be added to the first of two Deathly Hallows films so that the audience has Voldemort’s backstory fresh in their mind as the story goes forward, and I think that the pacing of HBP was great the way it was.

Plus, the shot of Narcissa and Bellatrix at Spinner’s End was absolutely perfect.  It was exactly as I always pictured it.

However, I am not OK with the minimization of Harry/Ginny’s kiss.  THAT WAS NOT SEVERAL SUNLIT DAYS, that was a few musty nanoseconds!

Movies of 2009 That I Will See and Will Like

Nowhere Boy, Sam Taylor Wood The Princess and the Frog, Disney Productions Angels & Demons, Ron Howard Adventureland, Greg Mottola Julie & Julia, Nora Ephron Cloudy with a Chance of Meatballs, Phil Lord & Chris Miller Whip It, Drew Barrymore Sherlock Holmes, Guy Ritchie

  • Share/Bookmark

December 18, 2009

Countdowns of 2009: Music

This Wednesday’s #YALitChat on Twitter had the theme “Bests of 2009 in YA: Books, Music, Movies, TV, Anything!”

I’ve been thinking ever since.

So, to finish out 2009, here are my own lists of The Bests of 2009, one a day until it’s time to party like it’s ten years ago.

Best New Music of 2009

  1. “Jump,” Glee Cast (cover of Van Halen)

    \”Jump\” (Glee Cast) HQ on YouTube

    I don’t know if any song in 2009 makes me happier than this one.  I’ve said that about many a Glee song, because the show — and its music — just keep impressing me more, but this has been the pinnacle in my opinion.  I have to dance in my seat when I hear it.

  2. “Fireflies,” Owl City

    \”Fireflies\” (Owl City) on YouTube

    Who isn’t including this song on their 2009 countdowns?  Pure whimsy in musical form.

  3. “Shades of Gray” by Open Till Midnight

    Listen on MySpace

    I am a huge fan of Open Till Midnight.  This song is supremely easy to listen to on repeat and is beautiful, poetic lyrics and a catchy hook that are indicative of the band’s style on the whole.

  4. Brick by Boring Brick” by Paramore

    \”Brick by Boring Brick\” (Paramore) on YouTube

    I love Paramore’s lyrics, Hayley Williams’ voice (and name!), and the soundscape of their songs, as well as most of the other acts on the Fueled by Ramen label.  I’m that person.

  5. “F*cking Lights,” Sam Bradley & the Men

    \”F*cking Lights\” (Sam Bradley & the Men) on YouTube

    Clearly not the style of music I listen to most often, but I love Sam Bradley’s voice and the guitar part to this song.  I wish I could find a cleaner recording than this.

  6. “World War III,” Jonas Brothers

    \”World War III\” (Jonas Brothers) on YouTube

    I like the Jonas Brothers even though I am in my twenties.  Their music is fun, and so are their concerts, and I will publicly admit that when I saw them this summer, I yelled “MARRY ME, NICK JONAS!” four times.  And texted their big screen-thing.

  7. “America’s Suitehearts,” Fall Out Boy

    \”America\’s Suitehearts\” (Fall Out Boy) on YouTube

    The album came out in 2008, but the single was released in 2009, therefore giving me an excuse to slip Folie a Deux into my countdown list.  This album is pure genius, as are most things Fall Out Boy, and I love the topsy-turvy poetry of Pete Wentz’ lyrics.  This song is no exception, although the video creeps me out a little bit.  It’s also very similar to the “Brick by Boring Brick” video.

  8. “Let Me (Get It) [Acoustic Viafore Mix],” statespeed

    There aren’t any online sources to listen to this mix of the song, which is vastly superior to its electrified version, and that’s a shame.  It’s a lovely, simple song by a lovely band.

  9. “Party in Your Bedroom (Acoustic),” Ca$h Ca$h

    \”Party in Your Bedroom (Acoustic)\” (Ca$h Ca$h) on YouTube

    Please kindly ignore that this is a fanvideo, all of the live acoustic videos were muffled.  In terms of feeling, this song reminds me of “Fireflies,” if a bit more cynical.  I once accidentally hung out with Ca$h Ca$h at Pete Wentz’ bar all night and ended up on The Real World: Brooklyn.  Then I got lost on the subway and ended up in the wrong burrough at 4AM, in a thunderstorm, crying because I was wearing leggings as pants.  It was an interesting night.  This song is lovely regardless.

  10. “Remember December,” Demi Lovato

    \”Remember December\” (Demi Lovato) on YouTube

    Demi Lovato is one of the most impressive musical artists I’ve seen perform live.  She is a madwoman onstage, playing three instruments while singing and having great charisma.  She’s also cute as a button!

  11. BONUS: The Beatles 40th Anniversary Digital Rereleases

    \”Hey Jude\” (The Beatles) on YouTube

    There will never be another band quite like The Beatles.

  • Share/Bookmark

November 29, 2009

The Wisdom of Small Children

Earlier this week, at my grandfather’s funeral, the son of my dad’s cousin sat on my great-aunt’s lap and pulled out an Etch-A-Sketch.

“I’m drawling a picture for the girl I’m gonna marry,” he said proudly.  “She has brown hair and a birthday in April, just like me.  Her name is Charlene.  That’s spelled S-H-R-L-L-L-L-L.”

The night before, he’d asked me if I am bigger than a first-grader.

I said yes, and that I’m even bigger than a SEVENTEENTH-GRADER.  He looked amazed, and said that his friend Lauren is just a big first-grader.

Kids, man.

And now: A popular meme.

A first grade teacher collected well known proverbs. She gave each child in her class the first half of a proverb and asked them to come up with the remainder of the proverb. Their insight may surprise you.

Better to be safe than… punch a 5th grader.

Never underestimate the power of… termites.

You can lead a horse to water but… how?

Don’t bite the hand that… looks dirty.

No news is… impossible.

A miss is as good as a… Mr.

You can’t teach an old dog new… math.

If you lie down with dogs, you’ll… stink in the morning.

Love all, trust… me.

The pen is mightier than the… pigs.

An idle mind is… the best way to relax.

Where there’s smoke there’s… pollution.

A penny saved is… not much.

Don’t put off till tomorrow what…you put on to go to bed.

Laugh and the whole world laughs with you, cry and… you have to blow your nose.

None are so blind as… Stevie Wonder.

Children should be seen and not… spanked or grounded.

If at first you don’t succeed… get new batteries.

You get out of something what you… see pictured on the box.

When the blind leadeth the blind… get out of the way.

  • Share/Bookmark

October 23, 2009

Friday Free-For-All: Have you ever imagined a world without hypothetical situations?

In 1999, I wrote this entire meme down in my diary for safekeeping.

1. If you throw a cat out of a window, does it become kitty litter?
2. If you choke a smurf, what color will he turn?
3. If you take an Asian person and put him in Africa while spinning him around, is he then disoriented?
4. Is it okay to use AM radio in the PM?
5. What do chickens think everything tastes like?
6. What is a male ladybug called?
7. What do people in China call their good plates?
8. What does the DMV put as the hair color of a bald man?
9. When dog food claims to have “New and Improved” flavor… who tests it?
10. Why didn’t Noah swat the two mosquitoes?
11. Why do they sterilize the needle for lethal injections?
12. Why doesn’t superglue stick to the inside of the bottle?
13. Why is it called “tourist season” if we can’t shoot them?
14. Why are there drive-thru liquor stores when it’s illegal to drink and drive?
15. Why isn’t phonetic spelled the way it sounds?
16. Why are there interstates in Hawai’i?
17. Why are there only flotation devices in the seats of planes, and not parachutes?
18. Why are cigarettes sold in gas stations when smoking at gas stations is prohibited?
19. How does the guy who drives the snowplow get to work?
20. If the 7-11 is open 24 hours a day, 365 days a year, why are there locks on the door?
21. Why is bra singular and panties plural?
22. If a firefighter fights fire and a crime fighter fights crime, what do freedom fighters fight?
23. If olive oil is made by crushing olives, how is baby oil made?
24. If a cow laughs hard enough, will milk come out of her nose?
25. Why are there Braille dots on the keypads of drive-up ATMs?
26. Why is it that when you transport something by car, it’s called a shipment, but if you transport something by ship, it’s called cargo?
27. Why don’t sheep shrink when it rains?
28. Why do you drive on parkways and park on driveways?
29. If Barbie is so popular, why do you have to buy her friends separately?
30. What would Geronimo say if he jumped out of an airplane?
31. Why are apartments called apartments if they’re all stuck together?
32. If the opposite of pro is con, is congress the opposite of progress?
33. If flying is so safe, why are airports called terminals?
34. If a synchronized swimmer drowns, do they all have to drown?

I really wasn’t as clever in middle school as I thought.

What’s your favorite riddle?

  • Share/Bookmark

October 9, 2009

Friday Free-For-All: The Friday5

A short meme courtesy The Friday5

  1. What are the titles of the last three books you read all of [in their entirety]?
    The Darling Rebels, by Siobhan Nichols; The Beatles Anthology, by The Beatles; and City of Ashes, by Cassandra Clare.
  2. What are the titles of between three and five magazines you subscribe to or used to subscribe to?
    Food & Wine, Gourmet (sob sob!), Girls’ Life/GL, American Girl, and Time Out New York.  I honestly subscribe to way more newsletters and mailing lists than magazines.
  3. What’s on your night table?
    A lamp.  And an alarm clock.
  4. What are the three best things that happened to you in the past seven days?
    My high school best friend is coming to visit and will arrive shortly; My editor was very happy with the beginnings of one of my Metempsyche world short stories; my car radio spontaneously generated life and works again.
  5. What was your senior yearbook quote, and what would your yearbook quote be this year if there were such a thing?
    We didn’t get “yearbook quotes,” as it were, but I did get two quotes regarding plays that I was in.  I’m pretty sure that my favorite one said, “I got to be tan and blonde, which was unusual, and I almost suffocated my best friend with a wig.  Best.  Play.  Ever.”

    My quote this year would either be a line from Green or a Beatles lyric, dependent on how I thought the audience would perceive me using my own work.

  • Share/Bookmark

September 20, 2009

A Bookish Chat: Siobhan Nichols Interviews HAP!

HAP Interview by Siobhan Nichols

Yesterday I interviewed Siobhan Nichols (author of The Darling Rebels, out in ten days on Diversion Press!) and today she’s interviewed me!

-How long did it take you to write ‘Green’?

Well, that’s sort of a tricky question.  The idea for the basic identity of Lindy’s character — a high school girl who was literally the embodiment of the universe, of all history — came to me in my junior year of high school, but her name wasn’t Lindy, she was a cheerleader, and the rest of the world in which she lived was very unclear.  I tried a few times to write her story, but it never panned out since I didn’t really have any direction.

In college, I focused on writing in entirely different genres and expanding my skill set.  I still read fantasy/paranormal romance/magical realism, but in my head, it was never the genre that I intended to write… which was mostly just stubbornness on my part, actually, and an almost religious deference to J.K. Rowling.

Then, about six months after my college graduation, I went back to campus to visit my best friend, who writes comics and whose creativity I envy.  I fully maintain that there’s just some sort of fantastical idea-bug in the air wherever she is, because I fell asleep…  I woke up at five o’clock in the morning… wrote 25 pages of what was to be Green… and fell back asleep.  When I woke at a more reasonable time, I found the pages, reread what I’d written, and knew that somehow, I’d finally found the story I was meant to write!

From there, the rough draft of Green took five months, and the second draft about 90 days.  After that it went to the Focus Group, who had it for about six weeks and sent back their suggestions.

-Do you listen to music while you’re writing? If yes, what sort of music? If no, tell me what kind of music do you like anyway?

I’m one of those people who needs to have some kind of built-in distraction to focus, otherwise I go off in search of something with which to procrastinate.  I almost always listen to music while writing, or else I watch seasons of TV shows that I’ve basically memorized in the background.  Writing Green was a labor of Fall Out Boy’s Folie A Deux, Vanessa Carlton’s Heroes & Thieves, and all of the leaked live tracks by Robert Pattinson… but I wrote a large portion of Green on the New York subway system and Staten Island Ferry, and my iPod Shuffle has everything from Huey Lewis & The News to Sia to Hanson to Bruce Springsteen.

I also watched a lot of The Office (US), Two of a Kind, and Castle.

-What did you dream of being when you were growing up? (Wow, that’s such a cliche question.)

I took the adage “You can be whatever you want when you grow up!” very literally for a long time.

My original goal for the future was to be a Muppet.

Not a Muppeteer.

A Muppet.  I really wanted to date Kermit the Frog, or at least Iggy Iguana from Under the Umbrella Tree.

After I learned that I could be anything I wanted within the parameters of “being a human,” I really wanted to be a famous ballerina who wrote award-winning novels on the side, and who owned a “dapple-gray thoroughbred.”  I also really wanted to star in my own Disney Channel Original Series because I was envious of Lizzie McGuire’s hair.

I’m still envious of Disney Channel hair, and I’m determined to buy at least one custom Muppet from FAO Schwartz, but I don’t dance anymore and I have no room in my apartment for a horse.  I figure retaining a desire for one outta three ain’t bad.

-A lot of authors write the kind of books that they want to read. Would this mean that you like to read supernatural/magical books?

It’s the funniest thing, but I didn’t realize until I was about 35,000 words into Green that I really do enjoy stories that fall into the “fantasy” category.  Because I’d never really gotten into any of the more seminal fantasy/sci-fi authors — Tolkien, Tamora Pierce, Asimov, Gaiman — I just figured that my intense love for Harry Potter… and books like Harry Potter… was a fluke.  It was when I started putting together my “Recommended Reading” list for my website (which is forthcoming… it’s really, really long) that I noticed that almost every favorite book I’ve ever had has had some fantastical element to it… life as a genetically-altered clone, monsters arriving in the mail, learning spellwork from battered old library books.  Even books like The Princess Diaries, which is ostensibly contemporary realism, are fantastic in that way that no one REALLY suddenly discovers in the penguin house at the Central Park Zoo that they’re a princess.

So the short answer is “yes, I enjoy fantasy and magical realism novels.”  Haha!

However, I never really like having to call Green “just” a fantasy novel or a paranormal romance or magical realism.  There are a lot of elements of realistic historical fiction — which I adore; I used to live for the American Girl books, and I majored in History in college.  Even though there are obviously a lot of supernatural elements to Green, I think its greatest strength is that I wrote it with the mindset that it was not about the supernatural, but about the characters’ lives.  One of the most unanimous compliments that the Focus Group had was on the relatability of Green and the ways that the fantastical was used, more as a facet of Lindy’s life than a separate element from it.

-Name a strength and a weakness in your writing style.

I think that my strongest suit is imagery… When I was in third grade, I got in trouble for writing my Young Author’s story with too many meticulous descriptions of the heroine’s clothing and home and foods.  Normally that’d be fine, if there had been a plot in any way to float them.  I’d like to think that I’ve struck more of a balance since then?

I think my weakness is probably either being too verbose at times — shocker! — or writing the dialogue for arguments.  Writing interpersonal conflict has always been a weak point of mine, since it’s so much easier for me to write intrapersonal conflict.  I do try, though!

-Being a huge creeper, I see that you live in New York City. Are you inspired by where you live and how the people around you live?

I actually don’t live in NYC anymore!  I lived there for a year, writing for The Hollywood Reporter and Tommy2.net, working for local indie bands, and makin’ lattes at Starbucks.  I did write the entirety of the rough draft of Green there, as well as most of the second.

I think I always expected New York to inspire me more than it did, in a lot of ways.  Because I was so young and fresh out of college when I was living there, most of my life consisted of stress and being desperately poor and running around from place to place, trying to find the New York I’d always been looking for.

I did get a lot of amazing writing fodder and life experience out of my time in the city — squatting for four months in Brooklyn in a building condemned by the Health Department on over 250 violations, then roving around from borough to borough every week, couch-surfing… and even spending a week pretending to be enrolled in Monmouth University in New Jersey to sleep in their dorms!  Haha!  Spilling boiling coffee all over Mr. Big from Sex and the City… going to a party hosted by Pete Wentz of Fall Out Boy and ending up on The Real World: Brooklyn… having the automated MTA Ticket Booth eat my money at 3AM in the Village after seeing the midnight premiere of How To Be and not having any more and being stuck in Manhattan until the attendant arrived at 6AM, just in time for my two-hour commute back to Staten Island… exploring Times Square at night, waiting for the 1-train, and falling in love a little more each time.

I also did a lot of writing on my four-hour daily commute, so there are a lot of scenes that are prefaced in my notebooks with, “Awkward: Sitting next to someone’s 80-year-old grandma.”

-How did you pick the name Lindy for your protagonist?

Originally, her name was Rian, so that I could make wordplay out of “Rian/reincarnation.”  This was back when she was a cheerleader and had no plot.

I didn’t change her name until I was maybe 20,000  or 25,000 words into the rough draft.  She just didn’t feel like a “Rian” anymore.

I was on the Staten Island Ferry after a closing shift at Starbucks, so about 5AM, in pouring rain, trying to stay upright while the boat knocked around on the dock and so tired I was basically cross-eyed — and still with an hour to go before home — when a girl in front of me put on a backpack that had a name written on it.  It was too blurry to actually see, and I’m pretty sure now that it was just the placard for the company that made the backpack, but it made the name “Lindy Cook” pop into my head.

So if there really is a Lindy Cook out there on Staten Island, I guess she’s very inspirational.  I think it actually just said JanSport, though.

-Since ‘Green’ deals with a lot of historical events and people, which one was your favorite to write about?

Ahhh, this is tough because I can’t give away spoilers!  It’s also a little like asking me to choose a favorite child, since each of the historical characters took so much care in researching and creating and making sure that I could be faithful to the real girls and women who lived similar lives in those times.  A few are actually my fictionalized versions of real historical figures, although very, very little-known, who I wanted to see given tribute and who I thought were unlikely to ever really get the remembrance they deserved.  Others are wholly creations of my own, and those were a lot of fun as well.

For some, I visited my parents and said, “Hey, Dad, list ten random years in history and ten random countries,” and I mixed and matched his answers.

Not all of those worked.

For another, I called my grandmother and had her tell me what her experience of the Kennedy assassination was like.

For all, I really wanted to focus on the aspects of daily life would have been like, more than trying to cover any sort of sweeping historical commentary.  Their lives and the snippets of them that the reader sees in Green weren’t made of political reforms and shipwrecks and artistic masterpieces, but how those were perceived and affected by them.  That’s the part of History that fascinated me as a little girl reading Meet Samantha, and as a college student studying History for my thesis papers.  The connections between their lives and the life led by Lindy, now — and hopefully the reader, too — are what I really hoped to come through.

-I saw this question on your blog and I wanted to ask you the same thing, so forgive me for borrowing your question. Which authors, living or dead, would you like to have dinner with?

I’ll answer with the same parameter I asked — three living, three dead.

I’d invite J.K. Rowling, because I really admire her convictions about societal change and her recognition of the kind of influence she has, and how she uses her work so subtly and so effectively communicate the ideals she believes in, and her commitment to really giving her readers a whole, developed world, and using that world to be so respectful of her characters, was really, really inspirational to me in developing Lindy’s universe (pun, a little!) and the people and supernatural creatures who inhabit it.

I would invite Jack Kerouac, because his approach to prose fascinates me.  He writes the ugliest people, the ugliest places, with so much beauty that it almost hurts to read it and not get to live it.  There’s a passage in Visions of Cody where Kerouac describes a pickup football game of neighborhood boys, Neal Casady, and himself, and it goes on and on with every play and every scraped knee and the sky and the leaves, and it’s about three pages long… in one sentence.  It’s remarkable, and beautiful.  Dharma Bums is one of my favorite books of all time and is absolutely astonishing.

I think that F. Scott Fitzgerald would also fit in well, because I feel like he and Jack would get along well as drinking buddies, and I’d want to be there when they started to wax philosophical about the state of the modern world and speak in beautiful, sad imagery.  The way that Fitzgerald punctuates his long strings of morose narration with stings of dialogue is something that I tried to emulate in college.  “You always look so cool.”

I’d round the table off with Meg Cabot, because she would add levity to the table; Jonathan Larson, because I think songwriters should could and because his work is probably the third- or fourth-most influential on mine due to my Rent obsession in high school and the emotionscapes that he can create in so few words; and Carolyn Mackler, because I was really intimidated when I met her and just stood there feeling shy, and I’d like to make a better impression and get to talk to her about how gorgeously honest her work is.

-Do you have a favorite place to write?

I probably write most productively at my desk, but my favorite place to write is the coffee shop next door.  Today was actually a heavenly writing day — cool and rainy, sitting at a table in the window with a peanut butter mocha and a chocolate-chip cupcake.  I write best in the autumn and on overcast days.

  • Share/Bookmark

September 18, 2009

Friday Free-For-All: Letters Survey

Leave me a comment and I will give you a letter. Then, go to your journal and post ten things you love starting with that letter. Give your friends letters, too.

My beautiful friend Indira petiiit gave me the letter “M.”

  1. Madeline Kahn in Clue.
  2. Mexican Hot Chocolate Mochas from Innkeepers.  OK, they’re called “Cococcinos,” but the description is Mexican Hot Chocolate Mocha.
  3. Macadamia nuts.  Deelish.
  4. Mr. Robert Pattinson.  I maintain that this counts.  If you get “D,” you can put Dame Maggie Smith.  Or “S,” Sir Paul McCartney.  It’s all kosher.
  5. Mid-90’s sitcoms.
  6. Midcentury celebrities: George Harrison, Pattie Boyd, Paul McCartney, Jane Asher, Keith Richards, Marianne Faithfull, Ringo Starr, etc etc etc.
  7. Markers.
  8. Mickey Mouse.  Double M’s; I win!
  9. Mu Shu Vegetable.
  10. Mr. Feeny!
  • Share/Bookmark
Older Posts »

Powered by WordPress